For many, romantic relationships comprise the most meaningful aspect of life, or true love can sometimes be challenging—and research suggests that there. Mar 27, There's no single "formula" to a perfect relationship. However, we've studied an awful lot about what successful couples do. Everyone's. We're going to see what the research says makes real relationships last so you can get Another recent paper summarized the results of separate studies, .
Am I saying you should have an arranged marriage? Going into a long-term relationship focused on limerence leads to disappointment. But people in arranged marriages have no such illusions. And so they work. And so it works. Arranged marriages sound weird but they have the right attitude: But if you do the work, it pays off over the long haul.
To learn the science behind how to be a good kisser, click here. Okay, lots of talk so far about hard work. Is there a way to be more successful in your career and more successful in your relationship?
It works in relationships, too. Do you want devotion? To learn more about grit from leading expert Angela Duckworth, click here. Ladies, look for guys with grit.
Duckworth demonstrated the importance of grit in loving relationships by collecting grit scores from 6, middle-aged adults. After analyzing the data, and controlling for the influence of other personality traits and demographic factors, she found that gritty men were 17 percent more likely to stay married. Relationships are challenging over the long term.
So you want someone who has stick-to-itiveness. When I talked to Duckworth about it, her answer was very straightforward. Marriage has plenty of trying situations. It lasts because we can make it last, because we keep putting in the work. Alright, so all these fancy studies have a lot to say.
But can they predict who will split up? After assessing fifty-two couples based on their oral history interviews, the psychologists Kim Buehlman, John Gottman, and Lynn Katz at the University of Washington found that the way spouses described their history predicted whether they would get divorced within the next three years with 94 percent accuracy.
So what differs between the stories told by the happy couples and the not-so-happy couples? Again, everyone experiences conflict.
The answers aren't always clear, but when it comes to marital satisfaction, science has some interesting things to offer.Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships - Joanne Davila - TEDxSBU
According to research, the happiest couples are those who: Don't fight over text What seems obvious is now backed up by science: When it comes to the big stuff, don't let an emoji take the place of your actual face. Don't have kids Children are one of the most fulfilling parts of life. Unfortunately, they're hell on relationships. This isn't to say you can't be happy if you have kids--it's just to understand that it's normal to not feel happy sometimes.
According to research out of Brown Universityyou're 75 percent more likely to get divorced if a friend or close relative has already done the deed. When it's someone one more degree of separation out the friend of a friendyou're 33 percent more likely to get divorced.
How to Make a Relationship Last: 5 Secrets Backed by Research
Researchers had this to say on the ramifications of the results: Fight at the beginning, then not a lot Psychologists like Dr. Herb Goldberg suggest that our model for relationship is backwards--we tend to expect things to go smoothly at the beginning, and for problems and conflicts to arise later. Goldberg argues that couples should have "rough and ragged" beginnings where they work things out, and then look forward to a long and happy incline in the state of the relationship.
One of the happiest pairings for couples? Researchers hypothesize this may be because the relationship has one person who enjoys being taken care of, and one who's used to taking care of others. Know who does what when it comes to housework According to a UCLA studycouples who agree to share chores at home are more likely to be happier in their relationships. In other words, when you know what to do and what's expected with you, you tend to be happier both yourself and with your spouse.
This might be a good thing to sit down and discuss in the new year, especially if you're newly cohabitating.