Loveless 09 by Yun Kouga
But Soubi is adamant that he feels no sexual desire for Ritsuka, he says that maybe Loveless- great story but I'm uncomfortable with the relationship age gap. Tags: Loveless, Aoyagi Ritsuka, Agatsuma Soubi. Broken Family and a Lost Nation. If you feel alone in your marriage, these tips will HELP you start fresh right . It wasn't as if any of the relationships his classmates made would last. The girl really needed to follow that advice better. Ritsuka continued walking; knowing Soubi would follow and could hear the footsteps making their.
He'd have a treat for tonight and then the day would be over. Completely forgotten until the next year. At least more than usual. Although the girl was his friend, her uncertainty always bothered him. The girl really needed to follow that advice better. But it didn't look like the crappy attempts at homemade chocolate the other girls had tried.
I tried but it didn't turn out so well. You're my friend so I wanted to give you chocolate! He had received no chocolates and especially, none from Yuiko. The girl was being horribly cruel without knowing. After all, she had only given Ritsuka chocolate. It was no use. Thanks for the chocolates. Did you not get any chocolate from any girls? From three girls and Yuiko. His body language telling the boy he wouldn't give anymore information. Soubi was really infuriating.
They continued to walk in silence, Ritsuka trying to think about what Soubi could have possibly meant but coming up with absolutely nothing. He wondered if maybe Soubi was saying things he couldn't understand because he had seven years on him. Ritsuka felt himself glowering at that. Soubi only smiled in return. Ritsuka decided to ignore that smile and just get to eating his chocolate and trying one of the homemade ones first. As he opened the package, a note fell out and Soubi picked it up.Torn
Was it even edible? He sniffed it suspiciously. Like doki doki doki doki! I know I'm not as cool as you but I really wish you could return my feelings'," Soubi stated, reading from the note. She only thinks I'm good looking or something. I've never even talked to her. Don't say weird things! Although he did not recognize this man, this adult with no ears, he felt as if he should. The grip on his arm, the smoldering eyes that held his gaze, even the fading smell of tobacco all seemed so strangely familiar.
It felt as if his body, heart and soul knew and yearned for this man. However, try as he might Ritsuka could not find a memory of him in his mind's eye. Briefly he wondered if this was someone the real Ritsuka knew from two years ago and felt something akin to envy blossom in his chest. The man quickly concealed his look of surprise and leaned in close to Ritsuka whispering, "You didn't call for me.
So I came to you instead. They sounded so personal, so intimate. And yet so out of place. His unrestrained arm swung instinctively and his fist connected with the man's shoulder, breaking his grasp on Ritsuka who was able to take a step back defensively. A pervert-" "A fighter. Still, Ritsuka again sensed a deep sadness hidden behind the smile. Is this how I know him? Did he used to come over to visit with Seimei? Nothing was ever his. Everything always ended up belonging to either Seimei or the real Ritsuka.
However, child-like wonder and adoration won the battle of emotions and he reached out to grab the man's arm. But you never came to our house before or I would've remembered.
Tell me your name. Make some memories with me. He recovered from his surprise quickly and ruffled Ritsuka's hair fondly, his expression tuning soft and dreamy. We'll do whatever you want. It was there, sitting at a small bench, Soubi had leaned over and kissed Ritsuka for the first time; an innocent, chaste kiss that had rocked Ritsuka's world nonetheless. At the young age of twelve it had naturally been his first.
Ritsuka shivered as he remembered the words Soubi had spoken to him then as he took Ritsuka's hand and brought it to meet his lips. From now on, we have to be bound by ties stronger and deeper than any couple.
Now, as he reached the end of the walkway he looked up and saw Soubi waiting for him, hands in his pockets and cigarette held loosely between his lips.
Soubi knew Ritsuka hated it when he smoked and therefore it was a habit in which he rarely indulged unless he was under a great deal of stress or worried about something. As Ritsuka watched the soft tendrils of smoke curl off the tip of the cigarette and drift upwards he knew something was wrong, He threw his arms around the taller man's waist and looked up into his grey eyes.
He brushed a few errant strands of black hair behind Ritsuka's ears, gently cupping his face and tilting it back, his cool grey eyes meeting the vibrant violet of Ritsuka's. He leaned down slightly so their faces were close together. Ritsuka yearned to ask Soubi what was bothering him but found himself at a loss for the right words; it made Ritsuka painfully aware of the nearly ten year age difference between them and he hated it. He glanced up at Soubi out of the corner of his eye but remained silent.
When they arrived at the cemetery Soubi led Ritsuka down one of the well maintained paths through row after row of stone markers, some tall and narrow while others were short and wide, all memorializing loved ones lost. Soubi did not speak a word as they walked and Ritsuka kept a few paces behind him. The cemetery was both beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
Until very recently, Ritsuka had mourned the death of his only brother and the sight of gravestones and flower wreaths filled him with a sense of melancholy and loss. Although he now knew his brother was still alive he couldn't shake the feelings deep within him. He wondered if it was because he sensed these emotions in Soubi now. Soubi came to a stop beside a gravestone that stood taller than Ritsuka but not quite as tall as himself. Stepping up to the stone Ritsuka read the inscription.
He brought his hands together and bowed his head, praying silently and paying his respects. There was a soft rustling beside him as Soubi put his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight. Ritsuka turned to look at Soubi, the wind blowing his dark hair about his face.
Is this your family grave? Until now, he had never really considered Soubi's past. Despite all of his efforts to be different than his brother and treat Soubi like the human being that he was, Ritsuka realized that a part of him still only thought of Soubi as a Fighter. The sudden realization that Soubi not only had parents but that he had lost both of them was sobering and devastating in its own right. No wonder Soubi thinks so little of himself when I can't even be bothered to think of his life outside of being my fighter How selfish have I been…?
Of course Soubi wasn't always a part of the Seven Voices academy… Of course he has a life outside of me and Seimei…He attends university; he has friends who aren't fighters or sacrifices He suddenly felt very small and unbelievably insensitive. They died when I was six years old so I don't remember them very well. Because of him, I've been afraid of graves for a long time.
He struggled to find words to say, wanting to fill the silence. I think I'd even want to meet ghosts. He felt a pain deep in his chest and believed that it was his heart physically breaking. Soubi knew it was time. Kio was the only person with whom he had ever shared stories of his past, and that was only after several glasses of Sake. Seimei had shown no interest in anything Soubi had to say that was not related to a fight, and even then he rarely asked for Soubi's input. Although young, Ritsuka possessed maturity and compassion well beyond his years.
When they had first met he hadn't known what type of kid Ritsuka would turn out to be but had learned very quickly that he was not like his older brother.
Soubi was tired of being alone. He was tired of being abandoned. He sensed that his time with Ritsuka was running out and was willing to risk everything in an attempt to show Ritsuka how he felt, how deeply his feelings ran. He didn't think he could survive if Ritsuka abandoned him, too.
So he told Ritsuka about his past. Pouring out of him like water from a well, he shared all of his hurt, heartache and betrayal; all of his fear and loneliness. He held nothing back.
Ritsuka listened quietly as Soubi described meeting Minami Ritsu the day of his parents' burial. He cringed at the harsh words Ritsu had said to the young boy who had just lost his parents. Now you, too, can be put in this grave. I had it built specifically for your family. So you should get inside with some gratitude. Why are you always crying? He told Ritsuka of the early days living with Ritsu and how Ritsu had taunted him for fearing the dark.
He didn't want to see the look of pity or loathing he suspected he would find. Ritsuka wanted to throw his arms around Soubi and keep him safe from the ghosts that haunted him but he was rooted to the spot, his body refusing to move. Talking about Ritsu's obsession with his deceased mother was even more uncomfortable for Soubi.
It steered the conversation into dangerous territory but Soubi was not about to stop now that he'd started. He wanted to show Ritsuka everything. For better or worse, he didn't want any more secrets between them. You tell me more about her… Yes…that's it. You tell me more about your mother. He wiped away one of Soubi's tears, the first display of tenderness he had shown towards the small child. How could a child so young possibly begin to understand the motives guided by adult emotions?
It wasn't until several years later that Soubi first suspected Ritsu's true intentions. He'd been sitting in Ritsu's office working on a painting while Ritsu pinned butterfly specimens to a board. But Sensei, did you like my mother? But her face was pleasing. I also brought you with me because you inherited her genes. He realized in that moment that, despite his words, Ritsu had been in love with his mother and the only reason he kept Soubi around was because he looked like her.
It was the first of many disappointments Soubi would experience as a result of Ritsu's carelessness and callousness. The face is so…whatever.
Ritsuka, you don't care about my face? Looking closely, he couldn't find a blemish on Soubi's skin. Ritsuka felt the familiar rise of color in his cheeks and butterflies in his stomach. It was becoming harder and harder for him to push Soubi away during moments like these. He found he enjoyed Soubi's closeness and the feel of their lips brushing together. It's just bad luck that it's faded away.
I'd have preferred it to remain. He knew Ritsu would be mad that he'd gotten into a fight with some of his classmates but he couldn't help it. He was constantly being teased about how much attention Ritsu gave him and questioned about the nature of their relationship. He had grown tired of being bullied. Don't give in too easily, you idiot! The only one that may harm you is your master.
He gathered his courage, locked eyes with Ritsu and demanded an answer. Are you my master then?
He'd been confused over the way Ritsu treated him, sometimes yelling at him and beating him, sometimes gently caressing his ears and whispering how beautiful he was, and other times acting as if Soubi didn't even exist. All Soubi wanted was to be loved…to be wanted. Ritsu ran a hand gently down Soubi's face. He'd given all that he could, all that he had to give. If Ritsuka chose to leave him here in the cemetery, broken and alone, there was nothing more he could do.
Love or Loveless? Chapter 2, a loveless fanfic | FanFiction
His fate was in Ritsuka's hands now. You won't abandon me, right? Soubi had brought him here and told him the tragic story of his troubled past out of fear. Fear of losing Ritsuka. He was torn between the happiness he felt at Soubi finally baring his soul to him and the sadness and disappointment that filled his heart when he realized Soubi's greatest fear was that Ritsuka, too, would abandon him and simply walk away.
The truth was, he couldn't walk away from Soubi even if he wanted to. Every day they were together, Ritsuka could feel their lives entwining more completely.
To leave Soubi behind now would be to leave a piece of himself behind, and Ritsuka wasn't willing to let him go; not now, not ever. Soubi was the air he breathed, the blood that flowed through his veins, the very beat of his heart.
You don't believe me. Soubi, you don't believe in anything. You don't believe me or my words, do you? Didn't want to believe that Soubi thought Ritsuka could throw him away like some sort of meaningless, used up tool. He pulled Soubi to him in a tight embrace, kissing the top of his head then letting his cheek rest there. He sighed, breathing in Soubi's scent. He knew what he had to do; he knew how to make Soubi believe. That's the only way? I'll give you orders-" "Ritsuka-" "I'll act.
That's the only thing you believe in, isn't it? But you don't have to worry because I certainly won't let go of you! Ritsuka very rarely initiated their kisses but, in that moment, he seemed to know instinctively what to do. He'd spent so much of his life being in control that he allowed himself just this once to be lost in the moment and forget himself. He reveled in the feel of Ritsuka's small hands holding his face and his soft lips moving against his own. Maybe his young sacrifice would stay by his side, after all.
As the kiss intensified the world around them seemed to shift and dissolve away into nothing. Soubi opened his eyes and found himself staring up into blackness, the evening sky filled with stars.
He sat up abruptly. Is this the afterlife? He looked down at his hands in wonder. Oh, is it a dream? My hands are so small.